Dating 2.0: “What are you looking for on this app?” The motivations behind the use.

I considered the title of the current article a great way to showcase how new potential relationships are born in the modern days. For me, it represents a perfect example of adaptability. Let’s dive into it! But first, confess: have you ever written this line in your fav dating app? 🙂

What motivates us to use dating apps?

A couple of studies tackled by Communication researchers identified the main motivations why people enrol in dating apps. In general terms, these apps seem to be used not for dating or sex, but for entertainment (Carpenter, C. & McEwan, B., 2016) – the plot twist here was a little bit funny, I have to admit. It sort of provides us with a definition for gamification of romantic interest-driven relations. But hold on, there’s (much) more to it.

Sumter, S. and colleagues (2017) spotted six main motivations for using the app Tinder specifically; Love, Casual Sex, Ease of Communication, Self-Worth Validation, Thrill of Excitement, and Trendiness. Nevertheless, motivation will differ according to one’s gender, sexual orientation and age, among other variables. Let’s take a closer look at these motivations:

Gender

Stummer et al. (2017) found that heterosexual men were more likely to report a Casual Sex motivation than heterosexual women, who preferred finding a partner. A previous study (Ranzini, G., & Lutz, C., 2016) already pointed out how men use Tinder for hooking up/sex, travelling, and relationship-seeking, while women look for self-validation and friendship. Interestingly, using the app for entertainment purposes doesn’t show a significant gender difference.

Sexual orientation

Ranzini and Lutz (2016), also found that homosexual and bisexual users scored higher in their motivation being seeking sex compared to homosexual individuals on Tinder. However, this app has been tailored for homosexual couples, and it is interesting to take a look at more specific apps like Grindr when diving into this topic.

Age

Ranzini and Lutz found that older individuals seem to be more motivated to use dating apps to look for friendships, compared to younger users, and significantly less for self-validation. Additionally, both Love and Casual Sex motivations increased with age, as Stumer and colleagues suggest.

Dating apps and loneliness:

In the previous post, I wrote about loneliness. I was intrigued by how, when reviewing the literature on the use of dating apps, loneliness is repeatedly mentioned both as a motivation to use them and a consequence of doing so.

Users who feel lonely tend to use the app for entertainment and self-validation purposes, seeking instant gratification to distract them from this feeling (Ranzini & Lutz, 2016). However, an article published in Psychology & Sexuality (Zervoulis, K., et al., 2020) concluded that homosexual men who actively use dating apps report feeling lonely and less satisfied with life, and it might have a negative implication for those who seek other relationships or interaction than the mere sexual encounter. Using Tinder compulsively and for relationship-seeking may trigger more negative than positive effects (Her, Y. & Timmermans, E. (2021).

Is direct communication a symptom of adaptation? 

The use of dating apps has led to multiple couples meeting when, in other circumstances, their paths would probably never have intertwined :). These apps are popular intermediaries through which individuals pursue love, sex and intimacy (Hobbs, M., et al., 2017). Timmermans and Courtois (2018) find that more than one-third of these encounters led to casual sex but more than a quarter resulted in a committed relationship. This suggests that the general trend seems to still be to pursue committed relationships. However, users will have to not only find partners who might connect with them on a personal level – shared interests, lifestyle, etc. but also find what is the motivation that led their virtual beau to use the app.

In order to avoid frustration in the way, direct communication might be useful. This is seen in a new trend that consists of openly explaining one’s expectations, often, even before meeting the person for the first time. Hence, the what are you looking for approach is a straightforward way to test how much one should commit to that interaction. This trend is known as hardballing. 

We can already see how dating apps have evolved to accommodate this new scenario, including a tag to display whether one is looking for casual encounters, a committed relationship, or friendship – doing the work for their users. 

How effective do you think hardballing is to avoid frustration when using dating apps?

Share your thoughts in the comment section down below or in the forum.

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Carpenter, C. J., & McEwan, B. (2016). The players of micro-dating: Individual and gender differences in goal orientations toward micro-dating apps. First Monday, 21(5). https://doi.org/10.5210/fm.v21i5.6187

Hobbs, M., Owen, S., & Gerber, L. (2017). Liquid love? Dating apps, sex, relationships and the digital transformation of intimacy. Journal of Sociology, 53(2), 271–284. https://doi.org/10.1177/1440783316662718

Ranzini, G., & Lutz, C. (2016). Love at first swipe? Explaining Tinder self-presentation and motives. Mobile Media and Communication, 5(1), 80–101. https://doi.org/10.1177/2050157916664559

Sumter, S. R., Vandenbosch, L., & Ligtenberg, L. (2017). Love me Tinder: Untangling emerging adults’ motivations for using the dating application Tinder. Telematics and Informatics, 34(1), 67–78. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tele.2016.04.009

Timmermans, E. & Courtois, C., (2018) From swiping to casual sex and/or committed relationships: Exploring the experiences of Tinder users, The Information Society, 34:2, 59-70, DOI: 10.1080/01972243.2017.1414093

Yu-Chin Her & Elisabeth Timmermans (2021) Tinder blue, mental flu? Exploring the associations between Tinder use and well-being, Information, Communication & Society, 24:9, 1303-1319, DOI: 10.1080/1369118X.2020.1764606

Zervoulis, K., Smith, D., S., Reed, R. & Dinos, S. (2020) Use of ‘gay dating apps’ and its relationship with individual well-being and sense of community in men who have sex with men, Psychology & Sexuality, 11:1-2, 88-102, DOI: 10.1080/19419899.2019.1684354

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