Intertwined

This very first post aims to open the gates for discussion over the following question: what is loneliness?

I find it highly relevant to talk about loneliness on this site. These feelings affect many age groups in different ways. From elderly people who lost their connections and are physically and/or mentally incapacitated to regain or build new ones to young people who feel misunderstood, and lack meaning and belonging. Such different ways to experience loneliness!

I have always loved this quote Violeta Valery recites in Verdi’s masterpiece La Traviata:
Povera donna, sola, abbandonata. In questo popoloso deserto che appellano Parigi.
“Poor woman, alone, abandoned. In this populous desert they call Paris.”

The quote exposes how a person can be surrounded by individuals, yet feel incredibly lonely. Can you relate?

In the scientific community, we find different approaches. Authors who research loneliness, such as the Dutch Emeritus Profesor Jenny De Jong Gierveld (1998), refer to loneliness as a negative and involuntary condition related to one’s own subjective experience of having poor social relationships or losing them. However, it is popular knowledge that loneliness can occasionally be sought and not represent a negative feeling. Boom.

Now how do we fix this. There are authors (DiTommaso and Spinner, 1993; Dickens et al., 2011) that make a distinction between two different concepts; social loneliness and emotional loneliness. The first one refers to negative feelings that emerge from a lack of connections, and the second one to the lack of a confidant or attachment figure.

Dickens and his colleagues further propose that loneliness, always involuntary, is different from social isolation, which can be both voluntary and involuntary. Social isolation is then an objective state in which the individual lacks contact with other people.

To sum up, what I conclude is that loneliness is the subjective perception of negative feelings that arise from a lack of quality social relationships or that are insufficient (De Jong Gierveld, 1998). Meaning it is an involuntary situation (De Jong Gierveld, 1998; Singh and Misra, 2009; Dickens et al, 2011) and that it has a negative impact on the quality of life.

Anyhow, emotional loneliness and social isolation can be both highly relevant and impact one another, sometimes spiralling and creating loops in which individuals might isolate themselves because they feel lonely, and feel lonely because they isolate themselves.

How would you describe this sneaky feeling? What makes you feel lonely?

Share your thoughts in the comment section down below or in the forum.


De Jong Gierveld, J. (1998). A review of loneliness: concept and definitions, determinants and consequences. Reviews in Clinical Gerontology, 1998; 8: 73-80

Dickens, Andrew & Richards, Suzanne & Greaves, Colin & Campbell, John. (2011). Interventions targeting social isolation in older people: A systematic review. BMC public health, 2011; 11 (1): 647

DiTommaso, E., & Spinner, B. (1993). The development and initial validation of the Social and Emotional Loneliness Scale for Adults (SELSA). Personality and Individual Differences, 14(1), 127-134. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/0191-8869(93)90182-3

Singh A, Misra N. (2009). Loneliness, depression and sociability in old age. Industrial psychiatry journal, 2009; 18:51-5


Categories: Loneliness

16 Comments

Betty Nordstrom · February 6, 2024 at 11:41 pm

It is the best time to make a few plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.

I’ve learn this publish and if I may I wish to counsel
you some interesting things or tips. Maybe you could
write next articles regarding this article. I wish to learn more things about it!

    Miren · June 19, 2024 at 4:49 pm

    Thank you, Betty! Tips are super welcome. See you in the forum and let’s discuss these topics 🙂

Irist · June 19, 2024 at 12:45 am

This article offers a fascinating perspective on the subject. The depth of research and clarity in presentation make it a valuable read for anyone interested in this topic. It’s refreshing to see such well-articulated insights that not only inform but also provoke thoughtful discussion. I particularly appreciated the way the author connected various aspects to provide a comprehensive understanding. It’s clear that a lot of effort went into compiling this piece, and it certainly pays off. Looking forward to reading more from this author and hearing other readers’ thoughts. Keep up the excellent work!

    Miren · June 19, 2024 at 4:46 pm

    Thank you so much for your comment, Irist! I’m happy you enjoyed reading the article. If there is a topic you are excited about, you are super welcome to take the lead in presenting some knowledge/ideas/thoughts in the forum for us to debate on! 😀 See you there!

Marciat · June 23, 2024 at 3:29 pm

Great article! I appreciate the clear and insightful perspective you’ve shared. It’s fascinating to see how this topic is developing. For those interested in diving deeper, I found an excellent resource that expands on these ideas: check it out here. Looking forward to hearing others’ thoughts and continuing the discussion!

    Miren · June 30, 2024 at 2:12 pm

    Thank you so much, Marciat! I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the forum. See you there 😊

Susant · July 1, 2024 at 7:32 pm

Great read! The author’s analysis was both thorough and engaging. I found myself thinking about it long after reading. What did you all think about this?

    Miren · July 3, 2024 at 9:14 pm

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and engaging with the community, Susant! Let’s keep the conversation going and dive deeper into this topic together. See you in the forum? 🙂

Solomon Barrett · February 8, 2025 at 8:33 am

This is one of the best explanations I’ve come across on this topic. Your ability to simplify complex ideas is truly impressive. I appreciate the value you bring with your content!

    Miren · February 9, 2025 at 12:40 pm

    Thank you, Solomon! I’m glad you enjoyed it 😀. Which other topics interest you?

Jaxson Bates · February 13, 2025 at 2:38 pm

Bravo! The way you’ve addressed [topic] is both thorough and accessible. I’ll definitely be bookmarking this for future reference. Keep up the stellar work—you’re a gem in this space!

    Miren · March 5, 2025 at 1:09 pm

    Thank you, Jaxson! See you at the [forum] 😀

Camden Knox · February 25, 2025 at 4:55 am

I love how you cover this topic with such depth and clarity. It’s evident that you put a lot of effort into researching and presenting this information. Well done!

    Miren · March 5, 2025 at 1:10 pm

    I’m happy you enjoyed, Camden! It was a fun one 😊 let me know if you would like to read about other topics too.

Lydia Bennett · March 5, 2025 at 12:35 pm

This post is a goldmine of information! I appreciate how you’ve backed up your points with examples and kept the tone conversational. More writers should take notes from your approach. Well done!

    Miren · March 5, 2025 at 1:11 pm

    That was such a generous comment, Lydia! Thank you ❤️

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